2012…you’re here!

2011

to quote my sister, quoting Zora Neal Hurston, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer”
 
i’m going to allow 2010 to be the year of questions. A lot of “whys” and “hows”. So many endings of things I thought I started for a reason. A lot of coming to terms with the difference between failure and just a simple change of course. 2010 was definitely a year of battling my heart and my logic. Sadly, I feel that battle will never be over. Thankfully, I have matured and have learned to not allow myself to be drained from every battle. I have learned that I’ll never be happy with mediocrity, but that I have to sit still long enough to turn what I have into something more. So that’s where I am. I’m hoping this is the year of answers. I will not look back. Nothing good comes of that. I am where I am for a reason and I must take full advantage of it in order to really live in the present.

so…I said the above in 2011. And now its 2012. 2011 was one hell of a year. Full of answers. Some answers that were hard to accept as answers…but that they were, nonetheless.

So what is 2012? The year of change. Yup. I’m on the cusp of being really great, but I let my demons and insecurities hold me back. Some people don’t even know that, because I”m so good at hiding it half the time. However, there are those who see the glimpses of what I could be and what I am and feel a sadness for the lack of connection. So here we go, 2012. I have some finishing up to do on the goals I’ve set for myself as I’ve played it safe. For the act of just making sure I follow through on something for once, I will succeed and prosper in these “safe” goals. But then my expections will change and grow and I will continue to demand more. Never settling.

And another thing—-I missed autumn of 2011. My favorite season and I was too busy to enjoy the leaves. That’s gotta change, too. Yup. Add that one to the list.